the great paci debate

This week the Mr & I decided it was time to FINALLY take away the paci (we call a bobo).  I just have to get this out there and confess something because of my irritation and I hope it doesn't sound mean.

I really don't care what your thoughts are about her pacifier.

 As I sat and listened to my daughter cry for over 2 hours last night it made me think about all those people who gave me their opinions on her bobo. At risk of sounding very passive aggressive- I just LOVE unsolicited advice about MY child. I also love how people love comparing children and their lives.  No 2 parents are just alike and no 2 children are just alike.  And even when you have more than one child, parenting styles change because people grow and change... it's a part of life.  It really gets under my skin when people in the past made comments about how I should not have given my child a paci- even strangers.   I don't think people realize that the comments you make to parents are a form a peer pressure, in my opinion.  When you keep nagging people or asking people about the SAME thing- it's basically pressuring them to do something. So, let's not discuss how my child is changing, growing, learning... let's discuss yet again the paci.   (And let me just add, as a social worker, I'm not talking about "nagging" for things that are considered neglectful- there is a big difference.)

So last night, listening to her cry for hours, brought up some very difficult emotions for me. I wanted to send a message to everyone who has an opinion about my child and her paci- whether you support it or don't. I don't really care what you think about it- just support us regardless.  A big part of being a parent is growing with your child and learning about your child.  Maybe parents feel they don't know HOW to be parents because people are always telling them how to be the "right" parent.  I challenge you to take notice of people and you will see it.  You will see people offering unsolicited advice and making the parents feel shame and guilt.  Imagine if we just sat back and complimented everyone instead of criticized or nagged everyone.  As I type I can just hear everyone telling me how to do this parenting thing...

  

this is how I did it... 

                   when my child was her age... 

                                               oh i would never do that...  

                                                                            you need to say it this, not that way.... 

                                                                                                                 make sure you do it like this.... 

We will get through this paci thing.  We sent them off to the bobo fairy & she received some lovely Doc McStuffins doctor toys from the fairy; she slept only 7 hours last night instead of 10 but we will work through it... we will press on. I just needed to get that off my chest.  I'm not saying I don't appreciate people's opinions but I am saying- unless asked by the parent, just don't give advice or tell them HOW to do it...give support and encouragement.  I don't think that is a lot to ask for and I know I can find other parents who agree with me.  I'm sure it is not meant to discourage but it is.... you have to think- when I TELL someone how to do things for their child, I'm telling them they are not good enough.  I will also add if there is a time when I need help or guidance for my child and a situation (and we all know there ARE times) the only people I want to ask are the one's who I feel will not criticize, judge or belittle me.  So if you want to be one of those people... start ENCOURAGING and stop DISCOURAGING. 

Played by a Toddler

We are at a new stage where we are trying to do the potty training thing.  It is difficult to do that when you are on a tight schedule.  With this being our first child, we are far from being professional potty trainers.  Consistency is a pretty important factor and that is one thing we are not able to provide- in regards to potty training (days and days to sit and "train").   At times, I feel like I'm walking on a tight rope.  One wrong move and everything is over.  Does that seem dramatic? It is just potty training.  I have had conversations with people about this subject, read information and asked my mom to help.  My sweet 23 month old KNOWS how to use the potty. She has been using the potty for months... but she doesn't do it all the time.  That is the tricky part for us.  If you think all that is enough- easy breezy- just add in a cunning toddler.  I have never doubted that children are VERY smart and tactful.  Let's think about this.... children can turn on the water works to get their way, right?!  So here is the dilemma we are in.  We have been strict with bed time or nap time and we have tried to be strict with potty training routines.  Our girl knows she can say "I wanna go potty" and hear her on the monitor.  We go in her room, take her out of her crib and put her on the potty.  Does she go?! Sometimes she goes. And sometimes she uses it to get out of bed.  Either play into her game to get her out of bed OR have her go in her diaper- the exact opposite of what you are trying to teach her!

There was one night the mister & I were enjoying our post bedtime time.  We have had some scares with pulling off a soiled diaper in the crib.  So on this particular night, we hear "HEY!" in the monitor.  That has kind of become a red flag for us to go check and see if we have a code brown in the crib.  We go in to check and we are told "I went caca." And we were so proud that she didn't take off her diaper and make a mess.  We get her out and get everything ready for a quick change and back to bed.  Open her diaper and there was nothing there.  And then she laughs "Ha!Ha!Ha!". She should have just said "Gotcha!"

It always catches me off guard and I think she is too much of a baby to fully understand what she just did.  But it also gets me thinking about the future.  This is just potty training... what will it be like when she wants to do something and we tell her no.  Will she be cunning and get around us?  I won't pretend I was an angel growing up. I was a schemer and manipulative at times.

One day soon Miss O will be a potty training champ! But until that day, I will have to remember to keep track of all the things she says and does to get herself out of bed! :)

23 months

Cheese! {23 mths}

22 Months. End of 2013

Since my last post (in October) so much has changed.  I have to document these things... I have to remind myself that I will remember to do this.  It is funny when you sit in the moment, you think you can remember all these little things that are happening.  My sister just had her first baby girl and people have been asking me questions and my response has, more often than not, been "I can't remember".... so with that said: 2014 should be better about documentation of my sweet girls life.

*18-22 Months have been fun & exhausting.

*20 months we had tubes put in- FINALLY! Praise the Lord they have been working like a gem!

*Favorite foods these last few months:  green veggies- broccoli, brussel sprouts, asparagus. fish & chicken nuggets. berries of all kinds- although we still have a strawberry allergy. yogurt. chocolate anything (which is given on rare, special occasions).

*Most used phrases from 18-22 months are:
"What's that?"
"Yook at me! at me!" {look at me}
"I wannmoe mommy/daddy." {i want more}
"OOOO BIG TRUCKS! HI MAN!" - said to EVERY big truck/ 18 wheeler we pass in the car.
"Where are yooooou?"
"Watch Petey Pie. Watch?"  {Peter Pan}
"Tiss the Tat. Tat tiss." {Kiss the cat.. she likes to give our cat a goodnight kiss every night.}

*Favorite places to visit: any place with animals. the playground. Titi & Neno's house-especially to see the dogs, mouse and cat. the beach.

*For Christmas Olivia received 2 new baby dolls.  One of her baby dolls is very similar to the one she had and lost when she took it to church... the pacifier is attached and magnetic which she loves.  The other baby doll is baby Belle.  She received them from Nana, Papa, Great Nana & Great Papa. :)  The one with the paci is called Baby Jesus.  Her Belle is called Baby Beast. {O normally refers to Belle as Beast because of the movie title Beauty and the Beast}. She also received a crib for her babies. She loves playing with babies.

*O enjoys going outside at night and looking at the stars and the moon.  If the moon is no where to be found she says "where'd it go? oh- it's behind the trees."

*In 2013 we had 27 medical insurance claims for our sweet girl. Lots of sickness {mainly from ear infection related things} but we are hoping for a much better 2014 with health & wellness!!

*O was a flower girl in a wedding & I was a bridesmaid. Quite interesting but fun.

*2013 seemed to be a year of traveling... we traveled quite a bit: North Carolina, Virginia, Florida & other parts of South Carolina mainly. Many weekend getaways.

*O likes to hold out her hand and chant "Goooooo Gamecocks!"  It is just a beautiful thing to hear! <3

*O became a big cousin to 2 new girl cousins- Margo & Virginia.

*Favorite movies to watch: Peter Pan {Petey Pie}. Tangled. Beauty & the Beast. The Little Mermaid. Angelina Ballerina.

*In the morning when you take O out of her crib, she will hand you everything before she goes with you.  Blankets. Night light turtle. Dolls. Her pillow. Bunny & Bear lovies.  Literally everything but the mattress and sheet leave with her every morning.


Our sweet girl is a fireball.  She is very active, very fast and VERY busy all the time.  She still takes a 2 hour nap every day and sleeps from 8pm-7am practically everyday.  On weekends she sleeps longer in the mornings .

My intention is to keep these things jotted down so one day I can look back and remember this sweet, spunky age.  At this moment in our life, we are not thinking or planning another child to add to our brood {typing that I know that other plans are always a possibility and surprises do happen}.  We are focusing just on Olivia {and her sweet cousins} and capturing moments with them.  We can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us! Happy New Year & Happy 6th Wedding Anniversary to my Mister!

Welcome fall, welcome sick days

We welcomed fall in our home with another double ear infection and then an allergic reaction to the prescribed medicine.  That sickness turned into the Mr getting sick and then passing it along to me.  The last 2 weeks have been a time of healing for us. 

Our girl finally turned forward facing. She is loving riding with open windows and an open sunroof.  When the sun is bright and on her face she says "it's hot mama"

We love wearing some baseball hats. This one is from Titi Lali and she loves it. 

She watches her movies like this... I guess she can't sit still in her chair.

Some sick day entertainment.  She loves painting. She has gotten so good with controlling paint, applesauce, etc. if any falls off she says "oh no! A mess." Then she cleans it. 

"Wock mama. Wock." When she was sick she asked me to rock her.. She never asks for that. 

Doctors office fun

Football is in the air!

I love football season. Well in this house WE love football season because we love football. I love sports in general... I don't enjoy watching a few select ones on TV though. A new reason why I LOVE football season is I now get to share these games and this sport with my daughter. I used to tell my mister how growing up I would always watch football with my dad and I would always fall asleep. As a little girl, I don't remember the games, teams or scores but I do remember being a little girl curled up with my dad. That little moment in my life was perfect. And now we have that little moment with Miss O. Yesterday was the second Gamecocks game and we lost to Georgia. I didn't take with me the loss, the teams mistakes, or all the negative comments... I took with me my daughter learning the Gamecock cheers, clapping, laughing and already recognizing our Gamecock everywhere she sees the logo.

To me, football is tradition. And that is one of the biggest reasons why I so look forward to it every year!

Picture updates